Archive for the ‘school bullying’ Category

Help Prevent School Bullying on October 8 (and Have Fun Too!)

Thursday, September 22nd, 2011

Bullying is one of the worst and most relevant things children today must deal with. It is something that we as a society need to tackle, and it will not go away unless we all work together to help educate our children. If you have always wondered how you can help, or what you can do or say to eliminate it, here is your chance.

On October 8 from 4-7 p.m. come on down to Rock for Challenge Day at The Belly Up Tavern in Solana Beach for some great music (by Temple of the Dad) for a great cause. All proceeds will go towards Challenge Day at Aviara Oaks Middle School, which is an award-winning program for teens to combat bullying. Challenge Day is coming to a Carlsbad School for the first time on November 7. Over 100 children and 35 adults experience this amazing workshop, to help stomp out bullying and teasing on school campuses.

If you have not read one of my previous blogs about Challenge Day and do not know about it, you can go to MTV’s website and watch an episode of “If You Really Knew Me.” This show is a reality show that highlights the Challenge Day program at campuses across the nation. You can pick any episode, but make sure to have tissues handy. Share it with your teens too. Challenge Day is the most real, raw, intense and inspirational wake up call to kids. NO ONE IS UNAFFECTED by this program.

Our biggest dream is that Challenge Day can one day be on every high school and middle school campus, but we need your help. It is not free, and there are few people who are trained to run the program, so there is a waiting list. Here is your opportunity to really make a difference in preventing bullying, and all you have to do is come to the Belly Up and enjoy some great music with friends, have a drink, and relax.

To find out more about Rock for Challenge Day on October 8, Challenge Day itself, and to order your tickets, please visit Tickets are only $15, and will be $20 at the door. The Belly Up Tavern is a 21 and over venue.

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What Are YOU Doing About Bullying?

Monday, March 14th, 2011


Those who know me know that bullying is an issue close to my heart. I was bullied in middle and high school, and one of my children has been bullied. Watching my child go through that was not only upsetting to me, but it made me angry in a way that I can’t even explain. I was angry at the parents of the bullies for not teaching their children true compassion. I was mad at school officials for not truly following any true programs–even when they had them in writing. I was angry that other students watch (and still do) bullying every day, as bystanders, yet do nothing (they do not have the tools to deal with this). I was angry at a lot of people. But my anger didn’t help. It didn’t make the problem go away.

I took my anger and started trying to make changes in our local school district, specifically at my local middle school. My voice was loud, and I was joined by many parents, and we have been heard. We are still awaiting changes from school officials. It is almost political to make changes in a school that are for the better–so frustrating.

The fact of the matter is that bullying goes on daily, and that bystanders, victims, teachers and others simply do not know what to do about it. In our local high school just last week, there was a physical fight between two ninth graders. Many kids were watching and egging it on, and one student was video taping the scene from his phone…that is, until a teacher came up and asked him to delete the video–really! I shudder to think what would happen if that child were injured (or worse), and the physical evidence destroyed.

If you wonder what is going on to stop this horrible problem, there are some good programs and helpful people out there. Here are some of my favorites:

Obama Administration: Obama and the government have become vocal on the issue of bullying. The Department of Education announced in November that schools that do not deal with bullying of gay students are failing to enforce gender discrimination laws and could lose government funding. The administration is also working closely with the Department of Health and Human Services to combat the problem and increase counseling and teaching in schools. I am certain we will see more from the government on bullying prevention.

Facebook: Facebook is jumping into the bullying problem head first, attacking cyber-bullying by expanding their existing bullying reporting system. Now those who are bullied online can file a report and send it to a teacher and/or parent as well.

MTV: MTV created an interactive bullying visualization tool called “Draw Your Line,” which tracks bullying education and prevention activity across the county using virtual maps. It is part of the anti-bullying campaign A Thin Line ( Apps have also been created to allow kids to chime in on whether a particular bullying incident went Over the Line?–the name of the app.

MTV also has a wonderful show called “If You Really Knew Me.” It is developed around an amazing program called Challenge Day (, which has been at high schools around the country. It brings together kids of all “labels,” like “jocks,” “nerds,” “populars,” etc. It is a one day program that is so powerful I have no words to do it justice. If you have not seen it I HIGHLY recommend watching an episode. If you have tweens or teens have them watch it with you. Have tissues handy.

Star Power–Hollywood stars have been jumping on the anti-bullying bandwagon. Ellen DeGeneres has been vocal in supporting programs to combat bullying, including STOMP Out Bullying, a program that aims to reduce bullying and cyber-bullying. You can check out all the great work they are doing at

Justin Bieber also has added his voice to anti-bullying campaigns, telling fans to take action against cyber-bullying by posting on Draw Your Line. As a young and very influential star, people like Bieber lending support to such relevant issues will undoubtedly assist in bringing this issue further into the spotlight.

Many school districts across the country have developed their own ways to help prevent bullying, and there are some incredible programs. Please get involved with your district if you have school-aged children. If they do not have a program join together with other parents and teachers to start one. Bullying is not going to go away without education, calls to action and involvement. We all need to help to create a new culture where bullying is not welcome.

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School Bullying Shows No Signs of Disappearing

Sunday, April 4th, 2010

I was dismayed this morning in reading an article in the San Diego Union Tribune on school bullying. Not only did it state that bullying has gone down statistically in schools since the tragic Columbine High School shooting, but it attributed this decline to the way schools appear to be handling bullying. Although I do not have specific numbers for local school districts (the article only mentioned districts in the East county and San Diego Unified School District), I can attest that bullying DOES happen in our schools, and officials often turn their backs on it.

Several years ago one of my children was the victim of bullying right here in the Carlsbad Unified School District. When it started in elementary school I admit the Principal was vigilant–he took it personally and made sure it stopped. While most children are afraid to point fingers at the bully for fear of retaliation, this Principal had some very creative ways to work around finger pointing. We also consulted a bullying expert who gave my child powerful come-backs to use that WORKED. These were the saving grace.

In middle school the bullying started up again the first year. I reported it to the staff and was told they needed names to deal with it. Touting the district’s “Zero Tolerance” policy, I was told that bullying was not allowed in the district. It continued and worsened. The saddest part was that a boy who carpooled with me was the victim of terrible bullying (he since left the school). I was concerned for this boy.

In my distress to help these kids, and having received nothing concrete from middle school personnel, I wrote a letter to the District, specifically to the Superintendent. I both emailed and mailed the letter. In it I stated that I felt the Zero Tolerance policy was ineffective, that there was plenty of bullying going on and nothing was being done about it at the middle school level. While elementary schools had assemblies and discussions on bullying to teach the children it’s repercussions, the middle school (or at least the one my child attended) had no such talks. My letter went unanswered.

Luckily my child came out of the bullying situation a stronger person, but that is because he chose to discuss it with his parents and we took action to help. Many kids do NOT discuss this with anyone and internalize it, leading to all kinds of problems, many of which can manifest themselves years later. Furthermore, if the victims are pulled out of schools where they are bullied I believe that sends the wrong message to the bullies. A victim should not be punished for being victimized.

With an increased number of bullying-related suicides this past year, and with more ways to be a bully since the advent of the internet, why is this topic not discussed in middle school? Middle School years parallel critical development years–puberty, self-discovery, learning to make choices that have consequences. Shouldn’t this be the time to hold assemblies and discuss the effects of bullying? Now is the time to bring this issue out into the open.

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